A mother honors her daughter’s memory this Pride Month
Remembering her daughter, a mother reflects on what it means for cancer treatment to include being seen, valued, and understood as your whole self.
At this year’s Dana-Farber Cancer Institute Pride flag raising event, Tracy DuBois shared the story of her daughter Bella’s cancer journey and her experience of belonging at the Jimmy Fund Clinic. In 2022, Bella passed away from osteosarcoma at the age of 15. Below are Tracy’s reflections on what it means for cancer treatment to include being seen, valued, and understood as your whole self.
Thank you so much for allowing me to be part of this important and meaningful event. I’m honored to be here today representing my daughter, Bella.
Bella was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at just 13 years old, only a few months before her 14th birthday. With her quirky, funny, and wonderfully unique spirit—along with a healthy dose of anxiety—she faced her illness with courage, humor, and a ferocious spirit. Despite the unimaginable challenges she endured, Bella and I found a way to laugh together every single day.
From an early age, Bella knew she liked girls and proudly identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. As a young, gay teenager battling a life-threatening disease, she was navigating not only the physical toll of cancer, but also the emotional journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and love—often without the “normal” experiences her peers were having, like school and social gatherings.
In the absence of those typical teen experiences, Bella found love and belonging in an unexpected place: her care team at Dana-Farber. The doctors, nurses, social workers, and so many others didn’t just treat her cancer; they cared for her—her whole self. They made her feel safe, seen, and accepted.
There are moments that stand out. Like when the Jimmy Fund Clinic offered Bella tickets to a concert at Fenway Park, and she asked if she could bring her girlfriend. The response was immediate and supportive, and they got her an extra ticket. Bella had her first kiss that night, and she couldn’t wait to tell some of her favorite nurses all about it at her next visit.
She noticed every rainbow lanyard worn by Dana-Farber doctors, nurses, and staff, feeling an instant connection to those who wore them. She felt safe enough to ask hard questions, like, “Is God mad at me because I’m gay?” And in return, she was met with compassion, not judgment. The Dana-Farber community gave her a space where she could be authentically herself.
Bella fought her disease bravely for 19 months. She passed away on December 8, 2022, at just 15 years old. I can feel her spirit with us today and feel her laughter, light, and love all around us.
I know without a doubt that she would be absolutely thrilled to be part of this Pride flag raising ceremony. I can feel her here with us—smiling, proud, and full of love.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share a piece of her today. I hope we can all carry her spirit of courage, strength, and compassion with us and continue to shine light everywhere we go.
Visit Dana-Farber.org to learn more about Dana-Farber Cancer Institute’s mission to provide compassionate patient care and groundbreaking cancer research for children and adults, as well as the care and support available for LGBTQ+ patients at Dana-Farber.
Since 1948, the generosity of millions of people has helped the Jimmy Fund save countless lives and reduce the burden of cancer for patients and families worldwide through community-based fundraising events and other programs that solely and directly benefit Dana-Farber. Learn more about how you can get involved at JimmyFund.org, and follow the Jimmy Fund on Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), and Instagram: @TheJimmyFund.
